Behavior in the company of friends.  How to join a new company?  How to make new acquaintances?  If you are not accepted into the company

Behavior in the company of friends. How to join a new company? How to make new acquaintances? If you are not accepted into the company

How often we are brought into an unfamiliar environment where we do not know anyone, therefore, advice on how to behave in an unfamiliar company will be useful to everyone. It is important to remember that the people around us are in many ways similar to us and they are friendly, so do not be afraid and armed with the following tips, feel free to go chat.

How to behave with strangers

The first impression is a big part of success, so try not to spoil the first minutes of communication with awkward situations.

First impression

Be friendly. No one wants to get to know a gloomy silent person, but an open smile and sincere laughter will help “earn points”. The pace of speech is also important. Take your time! Confused speech is an indicator that you are overwhelmed and worried. Speak calmly and in the same rhythm, do not try to shout down your interlocutor and do not speak too quietly. This is especially true for those who are going.

Pay attention to your gestures too. Even if you really want to put more emotions into the story, extra movements will not help you convey all your hidden feelings. Keep yourself in control, smile and do not be afraid of the person opposite! It is possible that he experiences the same.

The Art of Conversation

With coming new era people simply began to forget the importance of the art of holding a conversation. There are always topics that we talk about willingly and a lot. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Every person in his heart wants to talk about his beloved, so this quality can be safely used at the first meeting. But here it is important not to make a mistake and listen more than speak yourself.

And avoid your own monologues. We are sure that you are well versed in the topic rocket engines, but it is not necessary to tell the device of operation of this unit.

Notice the little things

Take a closer look at the person opposite and find in him the features that you sincerely like. Any compliment must be justified, otherwise it will sound false. It is not necessary to tell a woman hackneyed phrases about an attractive appearance, it is better to praise her ability to choose colors in clothes or a choice of accessories. If your interlocutor initially does not make good contact, then it is better not to touch him. Perhaps a person own problems and he just doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. Communicate with those who easily and happily answer your questions.

It is very important to remember names. Sometimes this may seem like an impossible task, but there is simple trick which will help you with this. When a new person is introduced to you and his name is called, come up with associations and tie the image to the name and appearance of the new person.

sharp corners

Avoid personal questions that may be inappropriate. For example, you should not ask a person why he came alone. The topic of religion and politics is also better not to raise, in given time these questions can cause a flurry of not too pleasant emotions and captivate the conversation in a completely different direction. Also boring questions seem silly, more like personal data. It is not necessary to extort the whole ins and outs of a person at the first meeting. Such an invasion of privacy is perceived by most of us aggressively.

New comrades and acquaintances are usually new emotions, new impressions and adventures. There are a lot of pluses here. But it can be difficult to become "one's own among strangers", in a new company this is not so easy, because this is a long-established team with its own, well-established rules and small traditions. But the adaptation period can be significantly mitigated by using our advice.

  • Always be friendly and natural. Don't try to be someone you are not at all. Do not ascribe to yourself qualities and skills that are not characteristic of you. Even a small lie always becomes obvious and only sets new company against you.
  • Be ready to make contact and demonstrate it. Ask questions about the habits and hobbies of your potential friends. But find a "golden mean", because too personal and intrusive questions will only annoy people.
  • Be friendly, but do not forget about personal boundaries. The desire to help new acquaintances is good. But try not to turn from a volunteer into an ordinary "six", in other words, a person "on errands." Friendship ends here. Therefore, learn and know how to refuse if the request goes against your personal interests. Your authority will increase the ability to behave with dignity, and not to serve everyone and everyone.
  • After getting to know everyone from your new company, immediately try to consolidate the relationship, but only if they are really interesting to you. Do not refuse friendly gatherings or visits to public places. Show your initiative and organize joint campaign in some unusual, interesting place.
  • Don't be embarrassed. You are among the same people who also have their own complexes and problems. The only thing they differ from you is that they have known each other for a long time. Try to try to fix it and get to know them better.
  • Of course you have some talent. Feel free to reveal them, but without imposing and without a sense of superiority over others. Talented individuals have always evoked respect and interest.

And finally one more important point. If you constantly try to meet new people and join their company, but fail every time, think about what personal qualities of yours can interfere with this. Ask your friends, because from the side all the mistakes and shortcomings are much more visible. After clarifying the problem, start working on yourself using special literature on social psychology. You can find it on the Internet or in the city library. And then the question of how to join a new group of friends will disappear by itself. Everyone has a chance to acquire some new qualities through self-improvement and become a truly interesting person. Then many others will think about how to arouse your interest.

Connecting with people and making friends can be really scary, especially if you're trying to be funny at the same time! Most people don't have an innate talent for being witty in any situation, and it's normal to have difficulty social situations. Fortunately, both your sense of humor and your communication skills can be improved with a little practice. If you're ready to go out and make some friends, start by visiting places where you can meet new people. Also, practice starting a conversation, continuing it, and no-no inserting funny phrases. Overcome anxiety by improving your communication skills and building your confidence.

Steps

Meeting new people

    Attend local events to get more involved in your city. You can find notifications about various events on the Internet, for example, in Facebook / VK groups or by studying local news sites. In addition, you can find posters on bulletin boards in the library, the house of culture or in local coffee shops. Attend events you like to meet people with common interests.

    • For example, attend art shows, concerts, local movie nights, weekend fairs, and festivals.

    Advice: most likely, you will need time to meet people who will become good friends for you. However, the more acquaintances you make, the more likely you are to find a potential close friend. Just keep going out.

    Join an interest club. Clubs or circles are interesting way meet people and start making friends. Look for a club that matches your interests. Then attend classes regularly. Chat with the people you meet there, and chances are, over time, you'll make friends with some of them.

    • If you're still in school, look for clubs or after-school clubs.
    • Otherwise, look online for options. Sites like Meetup.com and VK.com are also great places to find local groups.
  1. Sign up for a course at a local community center, non-profit organization, or university. To do this, contact a local cultural center or university, or use the Internet. Choose courses on a topic you like to meet people with similar interests. Then attend all classes to get to know the course participants better.

    • You are unlikely to make friends on the first day of class. However, if you regularly attend your chosen courses, you will be able to get to know other students better, and you may even make friends with some of them.
  2. Volunteer to be involved in solving issues that resonate with your soul. Pursuing volunteering, you will be able to meet other like-minded volunteers and community members who need help. This will help you find new friends who already have something in common with you. Look for non-profit organization or a group of activists who are working on a problem that interests you. Then attend their events and meetings.

    • For example, volunteer to help a local shelter collect and distribute holiday gifts to families in need, or volunteer at events at a local museum.
  3. Join an amateur sports team. Team sport is a great way to make friends because it requires interaction with teammates. To find local sports teams, contact a community center, check out the bulletin board at the library, or search the internet. Join the team you like and play for it.

    • Don't worry if you don't have extraordinary ability in sports. Recreational sports are good for people of all skill levels, and teammates will help you improve your performance.
    • You may be able to find a team that suits your skill level or age. For example, in a local amateur league, there may be teams of beginners and experienced athletes. Similarly, teams can be divided by age. Contact the organizers to find out what options you have.
  4. Attend religious or spiritual services to join the life of the church. If you have a religious or spiritual belief, chances are you can make friends by attending services. Many religious and spiritual organizations hold social events for their members to help you meet new people. Find a religious community in your area and then start attending their services or events.

    • If you are a non-religious and non-spiritual person, you may be able to find a local organization for people with similar beliefs, such as an atheist group.
    • If you have no religious or spiritual beliefs, you can still visit social events conducted by local religious organizations. For example, they may organize charitable events, festivals, holiday celebrations, and carnivals that are open to the general public.

    Fascinating conversations

    1. Introduce yourself to start a conversation. State your name and tell us something about yourself. Try to tell the person something that you think is relevant to the current situation. This will help you start conversations with people.

      • You can say: “Hi, I'm Anton. This is the first time I came to such an event,” or: “Hi, my name is Alina. I was hoping there would be snacks here.”
    2. Compliment the person and try to keep the conversation going. People like to hear nice things about themselves. Also, if you compliment them, they will think you are a nice person. Look for reasons to compliment, and then ask clarifying questions to continue the conversation.

      • Say: “Charming dress! Where did you buy it? or, “Your story was so funny. You still haven't figured out who's been playing a joke on you?"

      Advice: it's generally better to compliment things that people can control, such as hair, clothing, skills, and talents. Try not to praise natural features, such as eye color or Beautiful face. For some people, this can be embarrassing.

      Ask a question about a stopover or the weather to break the ice. This is an easy way to start a casual conversation with new acquaintances. You don't have to say something meaningful. Pick something from your environment and ask a simple question about it. When the person answers, try to continue the conversation.

      • It's okay if the conversation doesn't lead to anything. This is very similar to fishing: sometimes the interlocutor will “peck” the bait, and sometimes he will simply not be interested in communication.
      • For example, you might ask, “How are you coping with this rainy weather?” or “Have you been to this restaurant before?”

      Advice: try to ask open questions because they encourage the interlocutor to continue communication. It is not enough to simply answer “yes” or “no” to open-ended questions, which makes it easier to keep the conversation going.

    3. Show interest in people by asking them questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves, so showing interest in them is a great way to keep the conversation going. In addition, you are more likely to like a person if you listen to him. Ask your interlocutor open-ended questions, and then carefully listen to his answers.

      • You can ask: “What do you like to do in free time?”, “How do you know Alexei?” - or: "What last movie you watched?"
    4. Make fun of yourself in a playful way to make people laugh. Self-deprecating humor will help people feel close to you, and it will show everyone that you don't take yourself too seriously. Make fun of your quirks, mistakes, and things you enjoy, and then laugh with everyone.

      • Let's say you spill your drink. You can joke like this: "And the award for the most clumsy person in the world goes to ... me."
      • Another example: "I would have come earlier, but I had to call a group of archaeologists to find my shoes, because I'm so absent-minded."
      • Spice up the conversation with this humor, but don't overdo it. People may feel embarrassed or consider you negative person if you laugh at yourself too much.
    5. Learn to tell funny stories that you can use in conversations. Telling funny stories is a casual way to show people that you are funny. Choose stories from your own life or events that happened to your friends. Then practice presenting them in a way that sounds natural.

      • For example, practice in front of a mirror or videotape yourself telling stories.
      • Keep in mind that you can re-tell the same stories different people, so you don't have to worry about constantly looking for new material.
    6. Learn jokes that you can repeat to other people. Making up jokes on the go is a rare talent, so it's helpful to have a list ready. Read jokes online, watch stand-up comedians, or take joke-writing courses. Train your serve to deliver climaxes in time. Here are some jokes to get you started:

      • You can’t hit the pocket, it’s a blow below the belt.
      • Have you heard about a new restaurant called Karma? There is no menu - you get what you deserve.
      • I'm great at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
      • The scariest phrase on social networks after a party: “Your friend tagged you in a photo!”

    Improving communication skills and increasing self-confidence

    1. Define your best qualities, to improve self-esteem . Each person is unique and interesting in their own way. To recognize the amazing qualities in yourself, make a list of your talents, skills, and interests. Also, choose your best physique to beat them. Over time, this will help you feel more confident.

      • For example, you can write that you play the guitar, like to read thrillers, are not indifferent to cats, and prefer to stay at home rather than go out.
      • Your favorite physical features might be eyes and legs.
    2. Use open body language - smile and look people in the eye. When we use open body language, we appear friendlier to people. The easiest way to appear more open is to smile, make eye contact, and lift your chin. Also, don't cross your arms. Better keep them on the sides. Maintain good posture while walking, keeping your back and shoulders straight.

      • While listening to the other person, look at him and nod as he speaks to show that you understand him.
      • During your own speech, try to use gestures to draw people into the conversation. It will be helpful to practice by yourself so that you feel natural when you do it with other people.
    3. Develop communication skills gradually so that you have time to adjust to them. It may be difficult for you to learn how to communicate, and that's okay. Start small by simply smiling at the people you pass by. in public places. Then just try to say hello. When you're ready, strike up a casual conversation by asking a simple question or making an observation. Finally, try introducing yourself and asking open-ended questions.

      • Don't worry about how long it will take you to improve your communication skills. Give yourself as much time as you need.
      • Don't get smart and stick to short interactions at first. Once you start to feel more confident, try to keep the conversation going.
    4. Focus on the other person, not your phone. If the person feels like you are ignoring them, they will stop talking to you. However, if you pay attention to him, you will become more interesting and interesting in his eyes. considerate person. Mute your phone while chatting, and don't check your notifications when you're talking to someone.

      • If you need to check your phone regularly, make time for it. For example, you can leave every hour to view your notifications.
      • If you can get an urgent call, put your phone on silent, making a specific number an exception. For example, you may need to answer a call from your child's nanny.

Throughout our lives, we continually have to make new acquaintances, whether in the process of studying, working, or simply when getting into a new company.

Why is it difficult to join an established team?

New acquaintances always mean fresh impressions, possible prospects for the future, replenishment of your environment with new friends and acquaintances. However, sometimes it is not so easy to join a long-established team with its own principles, outlook on life and small traditions. The period of adaptation in relation to strangers can be greatly simplified by following certain tips.

Naturally, not everyone will turn to special literature related to the psychology of communication and the socio-psychological aspects of behavior in a group. But, if such an opportunity suddenly presents itself, do not neglect it, because it is in your interests to simplify your task.

How to win over a new company?

  • In any situation, be yourself. Of course, this does not mean that once you are in a new company, you need to act cheeky, ignoring the norms of decency. But do not try to be what you are not, and ascribe to yourself qualities and skills that you do not possess, since a lie is very quickly recognized. Be friendly and sociable, do not withdraw or withdraw from others, try to listen carefully to new interlocutors and participate in discussions, putting forward your position for consideration. Don't be too intrusive and nosy - remember that some questions can be quite personal or tactless.
  • Be open to communication and demonstrate the ability to make contact. Do not miss the opportunity to learn as much as possible about the interlocutors - their habits, hobbies, interests. But then again - do not go too far, so as not to annoy people.
  • Kindness and responsiveness are excellent qualities that will quickly win people over to you. But even here it is required to observe clear boundaries of behavior, so as not to be subsequently “on errands”. You must be able and ready to refuse at any time if it is extremely contrary to your principles and beliefs. A clear position and decent behavior will increase your authority among those present, but remember that pride and pride are fundamentally different things, and no one will respect an arrogant “peacock”.
  • Having successfully made acquaintance with everyone from the new company, try to consolidate what has been achieved. Support suggestions for joint visits various places, organization various events or ordinary gatherings in a cozy atmosphere. Also show your initiative and invite new friends to different places.
  • Do not be shy, because you are surrounded by the same people who have their own problems and experiences. The only difference is that these people have known each other for a long time and got used to each other. Your task is to change the situation and become part of the company.
  • Remember your special talents, feel free to show them when appropriate. Do it unobtrusively, without extolling yourself above the rest - no one likes arrogance, but interesting and talented individuals - on the contrary.

There is one more important point. If you often find yourself making new acquaintances, and each time your undertakings are not crowned with success, seek advice from close friends. Ask them about your communication shortcomings so that you know what needs to be worked on in order to avoid new failures. Use specialized literature and useful recommendations, objectively evaluate your mistakes, and do not be too self-critical. Constantly improve yourself, work on yourself, and you will certainly be accepted into a new company.

How to join a new team - video

Perhaps someone will be surprised, but communication with friends implies compliance with certain rules. How earlier man master them, the better his relations with others will develop.

It is believed that the rules for communicating with friends should be intuitive, but practice proves otherwise. Very often a person suffers from his own loneliness, sincerely wondering why people shun him. There can be many reasons. Many tend not to notice their own shortcomings, ignore other people's comments, considering them unreasonable. But the problem of communication exists, moreover, it is becoming relevant and widespread.

And not a friend, and not an enemy, and so

There is a category of people who absolutely do not need communication. Misanthropes, hermits, introverts - these are just a few of the epithets that are awarded to those who prefer complete solitude to a noisy company. But there are only a few of them, and the bulk of the population experiences a certain discomfort with a lack of live communication. To correct the situation, it is necessary to master the rules of communication with friends. At this stage, there are a number of questions to ask:

1) Am I a good friend?

2) Will I come to the rescue of a loved one if he asks for help?

3) Do I offend people by word or deed?

4) Am I tactful enough?

5) Do I know how to conduct a competent,

6) Am I an erudite and comprehensively developed person enough to be of interest to others?

Answering these simple questions honestly will paint a picture.

Secrets of friendship

As it originates in early childhood, and if you are lucky, it passes through your whole life. Such relationships are not interrupted, even if people disperse for different cities and start families. This is what you should strive for.

So, there is one wrong position: everyone should accept me as I am. This is the greatest delusion. A person must strive for the ideal all his life, engage in self-education, listen to criticism and draw conclusions. A person cannot be at one stage; it either develops or degrades. Of course, everyone wants to see in their circle of friends those people who are trying to become kinder, smarter, more educated. Good example contagious. If there is a desire, then it's time to move on to practical advice. The rules for communicating with friends are as follows:

1) Listen. Perhaps this is the main rule. Not every person is able to show sincere interest in the story of the interlocutor.

2) Do not be silent. Interrupting and inserting a similar story, of course, is not worth it, but making relevant and smart comments is not only possible, but necessary.

3) Give advice with caution. Perhaps the interlocutor is waiting for them, but is it worth taking on such responsibility? After all, in the end you can remain guilty.

4) Friends meet to spend time together. Keyword- "together". That is why you should not hide in a corner with a phone and look gloomily at your comrades, distracting you from your favorite toy with conversations.

Basics of etiquette

Every person is familiar with the elementary rules of etiquette. But theoretical knowledge and their application in practice are not the same thing. The rules for communicating with friends are a whole science that every person who is tired of being alone has to master. Friendly etiquette says not to:

1) Putting a friend in This means that it is strictly forbidden to ask for a loan from an overly economical person or demand speed of action from a slow one.

2) Make difficult requests. The comrade will have a feeling of guilt from the fact that he is not able to help.

3) Asking for help too often. Sooner or later, such regularity will begin to bother, and the person will try to stop communication, believing that he is being used.

4) Making promises and not keeping them. Such actions make one disappointed in a friend.

virtual world

The Internet has firmly entered the life of every person and has become its integral part. Social networks replace live communication, so it is not surprising that there are rules for online communication with friends.

The first and main commandment says: messages sent by friends must be answered. Sometimes people online choose to ignore them. Here is what needs to be done small digression and imagine such a situation. Two friends met

How are you?

The interlocutor did not answer this, he silently turned around and left. Silent scene. This is what silence looks like on the web.

Also, do not send a friend funny and funny pictures. Never. Perhaps this is very funny and interesting, but suddenly a person is busy or just not in the mood. He will have to make an effort on himself to answer this meaningless message.

AT modern world in fashion, the habit that needs to be eradicated in oneself is to respond with abbreviations. For example, "sps" instead of "thank you", "pl" instead of "please". The Russian language is beautiful and rich. It is much more pleasant to communicate with a person who is fluent in it, and not with difficulty connecting two words into a sentence and is distinguished by a frightening tongue-tied tongue.

Relationship problems with peers

Years of study are remembered with warmth and tenderness. Every person sooner or later thinks about the distant time when he was a carefree schoolboy. But nostalgia will come decades later, but for now there may be problems in relationships with peers.

The rules of communication with classmates will help to avoid them. It's appropriate here popular expression: Treat people the way you want them to treat you. This means that you can not give offensive nicknames, laugh at physical disabilities, show disrespect and rudeness. These banal truths need to be learned, they will help build harmonious relations with society.

Can you lie to your friends?

Probably, someone will be surprised, but sometimes you can lie to your friends. The rules of proper communication say that you must always remain an honest and sincere person, but no one has canceled the concept of “lie for good”.

So in what situations is slyness permissible? Lies are justified when the truth can lead to unpleasant consequences or even tragedy. For example, an unattractive girl asks, "Am I ugly?" Is it possible to answer this question in the affirmative? Truth-seekers, of course, will say that it is always necessary to tell only the truth. But does the person who asks such a question want the truth? Also, lying is justified if we are talking about saving life, dignity and honor.

friend?

Michel de Montaigne said: "In friendship there are no other calculations than itself." So why is it sometimes good and open person Is it hard to communicate with people?

Rules for successful communication will help change the situation in better side. And if the standard norms of dialogue and behavior are known to every person with early childhood, the finer nuances can be a startling discovery. The psychological rules of communication are a panacea for loneliness that burdens the soul:

  • The barrier in communication will help overcome the honing of communication skills.
  • Control over your own emotions is something that needs to be developed in yourself.
  • Observation will allow you to adapt to the interlocutor, this guarantees maximum benefit from communication.
  • The ability to choose a topic is the key to success. If we take a simple example, then a person with three higher education, talking with a simple worker, will not start talking about Barrow's theorem or about modern research in the field of genetics. Unfamiliar topics will confuse the participant in the dialogue, and he will be embarrassed.
  • The sweetest word for any person is his. During communication, you should not depersonalize the interlocutor, you should address by name.
  • A friendly smile works wonders.